How To Kill A Computer
by Acid Ice
Summary: Do not try these things at home. A little bit of JxA.


**I claim no rights to Code Lyoko.**

"_How To Kill A Computer"_

Aelita was not a violent person. Her pacifying nature had probably helped keep Odd and Ulrich from murdering each other over the last two years. Maintaining the peace was one of her defining characteristics.

_But that damned thing had to die._

Aelita closed her eyes and counted to three before opening them, trying to concentrate on the work in front of her. The codes were endless and few were useful, but it was her responsibility to sift through the data from Sector 5 while Jeremie tried out some vehicle upgrades. The pink laptop was already hot to the touch, having been in use for several hours. She took it off her legs and set it on Jeremie's bed, catching a glimpse of his workstation in the process.

_A machete to the keyboard..._

In this particular daydream this part never changed. Aelita could picture the blade prying the little keys out with ease, sending them ricocheting off the walls of the dorm. There would be nothing left but a frame chopped haphazardly to bits and scattered letters and numbers all around.

_Focus_, Aelita reprimanded herself. When she wasn't dreaming about being reunited with her father or finally shutting down that hated virus, this was one of her favorite things to imagine. Lately it was nothing short of infuriating how Jeremie seemed constantly glued to his desk, with little patience for anything else. But she was no help if she couldn't bring herself to Earth.

_The monitor would get a sledgehammer..._

She could already see the display with a deep, rough hole in the center. The polarized glass shards would poke into the circuitry between them. Perhaps she could bash the corners in, just to round the damage out.

"Found anything new, Aelita?"

Aelita jumped and shook her head; Jeremie didn't seem to realize she'd been looking at his monitor just as intently as he had.

_As for the tower..._

The last time she'd entertained this reverie it had simply been some fireworks stuffed inside and left to do as they pleased. Aelita felt more creative than usual today, though. Opening the case with a crow bar and finding something to do with the different components would be rather satisfying.

_Chocolate pudding in the CD Rom..._

_Huh_, she thought. Last time it was oatmeal, but variety was always good. Aelita had to bite back a giggle at Jeremie's reaction when he tried to insert a disc into sugary goo.

_Feed the CPU to Kiwi..._

Aelita realized Jeremie would have to be out of the room were any of this to happen—surely he would try and stop her from massacring his equipment. Then again, maybe the genius would be so shocked he'd stand there and watch, horrified.

Again, she tried to bring her thoughts back to her laptop. They had worked all of this Sunday and so far she had nothing to show for it. For some reason she couldn't keep her mind from wandering, though.

_Crush the motherboard into pieces and shove it down a garbage disposal..._

She briefly wondered how she would get past Rosa and into the kitchens, but decided it wasn't important to enjoying the fantasy. The awful sound would be a twisted sort of music to her ears.

_The power supply?_

Aelita couldn't come up with anything inspired and brutal for that part. _I'll come back to that later._

_And the hard drive..._

A smirk formed over her lips as she saw the Kadic groundskeeper "accidentally" going over it with a lawn mower. Yes, that fragment would need an especially destructive ending.

_Then when all is done there's nothing left but to claim the prize..._

Aelita examined the blonde sitting a few feet away from her. There was no doubt in her mind that she'd be better to him than his computer. At least she wouldn't suck the life out of him. She sighed and firmly chided herself for being so easily distracted. If it wasn't for Jeremie's workstation she wouldn't be here, after all. Then again, Aelita couldn't help but contemplate how life would be if he noticed anything or anyone besides it.

"Odd's been whining for the Overboard to shoot laser arrows as well," Jeremie called out, rolling his eyes. "He doesn't seem to understand how much work that would take. I'll see what I can do, though."

Aelita smiled warmly at him. "Don't strain yourself. Maybe Odd should work on not falling off, it was a close shave last week."

Jeremie chuckled, but Aelita could hear the stress in his voice. Mutilating his equipment would really be a favor to him, but never more than a dream. Still, if he paid half as much attention to her...Doing so would probably neither relieve him or offer any advantage in the fight against Xana—but it _was_ fun to think about.

_Hm...how well do laptops mix with wood chippers?_

* * *

The saddest part of this oneshot? The hour I spent on Google looking up the parts of a computer.


End file.
